万书阁

第74章（第1页）

“ihadnotbeenlonginhertfordshire，beforeisaw，incommonwithothers，thatbingleypreferredyoureldersistertoanyotheryoungwomaninthecountry.butitwasnottilltheeveningofthedanceatnetherfieldthatihadanyapprehensionofhisfeelingaseriousattachment.ihadoftenseenhiminlovebefore.atthatball，whileihadthehonourofdancingwithyou，iwasfirstmadeacquainted，bysirwilliamlucas'saccidentalinformation，thatbingley'sattentionstoyoursisterhadgivenrisetoageneralexpectationoftheirmarriage.hespokeofitasacertainevent，ofwhichthetimealonecouldbeundecided.fromthatmomentiobservedmyfriend'sbehaviourattentively;andicouldthenperceivethathispartialityformissbennetwasbeyondwhatihadeverwitnessedinhiyoursisterialsowatched.herlookandmannerswereopen，cheerful，andengagingasever，butwithoutanysymptomofpeculiarregard，andiremainedconvincedfromtheevening'sscrutiny，thatthoughshereceivedhisattentionswithpleasure，shedidnotinvitethembyanyparticipationofsentiment.ifyouhavenotbeenmistakenhere，imusthavebeeninerror.yoursuperiorknowledgeofyoursistermustmakethelatterprobable.ifitbeso，ifihavebeenmisledbysucherrortoinflictpainonher，yourresentmenthasnotbeenunreasonable.butishallnotscrupletoassert，thattheserenityofyoursister'scountenanceandairwassuchasmighthavegiventhemostacuteobserveraconvictionthat，howeveramiablehertemper，herheartwasnotlikelytobeeasilytouched.thatiwasdesirousofbelievingherindifferentiscertain—butiwillventuretosaythatmyinvestigationanddecisionsarenotusuallyinfluencedbymyhopesorfears.ididnotbelievehertobeindifferentbecauseiwishedit;ibelieveditonimpartialconviction，astrulyasiwisheditinreason.myobjectionstothemarriagewerenotmerelythosewhichilastnightacknowledgedtohavetheutmostrequiredforceofpassiontoputaside，inmyowncase;thewantofconnectioncouldnotbesogreataneviltomyfriendastome.buttherewereothercausesofrepugnance;causeswhich，thoughstillexisting，andexistingtoanequaldegreeinbothinstances，ihadmyselfendeavouredtoforget，becausetheywerenotimmediatelybeforeme.thesecausesmustbestated，thoughbriefly.thesituationofyourmother'sfamily，thoughobjectionable，wasnothingincomparisontothattotalwantofproprietysofrequently，soalmostuniformlybetrayedbyherself，byyourthreeyoungersisters，andoccasionallyevenbyyourfather.pardonme.itpainsmetooffendyou.butamidstyourconcernforthedefectsofyournearestrelations，andyourdispleasureatthisrepresentationofthem，letitgiveyouconsolationtoconsiderthat，tohaveconductedyourselvessoastoavoidanyshareofthelikecensure，ispraisenolessgenerallybestowedonyouandyoureldersister，thanitishonourabletothesenseanddispositionofboth.iwillonlysayfartherthatfromwhatpassedthatevening，myopinionofallpartieswasconfirmed，andeveryinducementheightenedwhichcouldhaveledmebefore，topreservemyfriendfromwhatiesteemedamostunhappyconnection.heleftnetherfieldforlondon，onthedayfollowing，asyou，iamcertain，remember，withthedesignofsoonreturning.

“thepartwhichiactedisnowtobeexplained.hissisters'uneasinesshadbeenequallyexcitedwithmyown;ourcoincidenceoffeelingwassoondiscovered，and，alikesensiblethatnotimewastobelostindetachingtheirbrother，weshortlyresolvedonjoininghimdirectlyinlondon.weaccordinglywent—andthereireadilyengagedintheofficeofpointingouttomyfriendthecertainevilsofsuchachoice.idescribed，andenforcedthemearnestly.but，howeverthisremonstrancemighthavestaggeredordelayedhisdetermination，idonotsupposethatitwouldultimatelyhavepreventedthemarriage，haditnotbeensecondedbytheassurancethatihesitatednotingiving，ofyoursister'sindifference.hehadbeforebelievedhertoreturnhisaffectionwithsincere，ifnotwithequalregard.butbingleyhasgreatnaturalmodesty，withastrongerdependenceonmyjudgementthanonhisown.toconvincehim，therefore，thathehaddeceivedhimself，wasnoverydifficultpoint.topersuadehimagainstreturningintohertfordshire，whenthatconvictionhadbeengiven，wasscarcelytheworkofamoment.icannotblamemyselfforhavingdonethusmuch.thereisbutonepartofmyconductinthewholeaffaironwhichidonotreflectwithsatisfaction;itisthaticondescendedtoadoptthemeasuresofartsofarastoconcealfromhimyoursister'sbeingintown.iknewitmyself，asitwasknowntomissbingley;butherbrotherisevenyetignorantofit.thattheymighthavemetwithoutillconsequenceisperhapsprobable;buthisregarddidnotappeartomeenoughextinguishedforhimtoseeherwithoutsomedanger.perhapsthisconcealment，thisdisguisewasbeneathme;itisdone，however，anditwasdoneforthebest.onthissubjectihavenothingmoretosay，nootherapologytooffer.ifihavewoundedyoursister'sfeelings，itwasunknowinglydoneandthoughthemotiveswhichgovernedmemaytoyouverynaturallyappearinsufficient，ihavenotyetlearnttocondemnthe

“withrespecttothatother，moreweightyaccusation，ofhavinginjuredmr.wickham，icanonlyrefuteitbylayingbeforeyouthewholeofhisconnectionwithmyfamily.ofwhathehasparticularlyaccusedmeiamignorant;butofthetruthofwhatishallrelate，icansummonmorethanonewitnessofundoubtedveracity.

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